A Message From The Dumb Ass Author

Hey everybody! I just wanted to wish everyone a happy holidays if you celebrate it, or if you don’t, happy Mythbusters marathon days! (I’ve been enjoying that myself.) Anyways, I wanted to take a moment to also thank everybody who read my books and stories this year. This hasn’t been a super productive year for me – depression is great, isn’t it folks? – but I hope to turn that around next year. I have two WIPs well over fifty thousand words, and Less Than Three Press will be re-releasing both Josh of the Damned and Strange Angels. I hope to post updates, and maybe a little flash fic along the way. Thank you so much for the reviews and book recommendations. It all helps, and you’ve basically kept me going this year....

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Poem For A Shadow

All apologies to Hughes Mearn. (Photo by Brian J. White.) ** Yesterday, on the street, I met a man not so fleet. He’s a shadow without body, a wayward sort, Who haunts the areas around the port. He never says a word, only waits, Like a man not aware he’s been stood up for a date. I asked him several times if I could aid him, Before light and time would surely fade him. Finally one night he answered me, Much to my surprise and glee. “I am but a portent of doom, Staying here until you all join me in the Stygian gloom. Your end is coming fast and messy, So if I were you I’d wear something a little less dressy.” So if you see a shadow without a man, There’s no point in running away. For you and I will join him soon, And here we will all...

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Coming To A Theater Near You …

Thanks to Jenn Burke and her typo for this flash fic. ** Fade in on a sunny, well appointed kitchen – basically a Martha Stewart kitchen, or a Williams-Sonoma catalog display come to life. Voice Over (ominous male voice): From the producer of “Girls Gone Stabby”, and the director of “Don’t Open That Door” comes a new tale of shocking horror … A woman enters the kitchen, followed by a man carrying grocery bags. They’re young and upwardly mobile, a bland sort of “every couple”. Woman: It was so nice of that man at the farmer’s market to give away pies. What did he say they were made of again? Man: Fruits from his greenhouse, I think? All I know is he called them Venus pies, and I am here for it. They put groceries away, but the...

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Best Songs of 2018 playlist …

Okay, I’ll admit it’s long … Best Songs of the Year 2018 from notmanos on 8tracks Radio.

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Weekend sale!

Hey! Less Than Three is having a sale this weekend, and that includes stuff I’m in! Including my short story collection, Shotgun Bastards.

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Review – 1206: Ator, The Fighting Eagle

Here we go, the last film of the abbreviated season. The final episode seems apt, as Cave Dwellers is a beloved classic of the first iteration of the series, and it was the sequel to this movie. If you’ve seen that episode, you saw tiny bits of this film in one of their interminable exposition scenes. Is this movie as cheap as Cave Dwellers? Yes, absolutely. In fact, I think the same sets, slightly redressed, were used in both films. Probably costumes as well. The actors were mostly swapped out though, save for Miles, and I couldn’t even guess where the bear ran off to. But I hate to say I didn’t find this quite as good as Cave Dwellers, if you can even call that good. Which you can’t. Maybe it hurts that I knew how the story was going to go. This ticks...

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Review – 1205: Killer Fish

Next up is the silly horror movie/crime hybrid with the bare bones title Killer Fish, which you probably would have guessed was a ’70’s movie even before I told you it stars Lee Major and Karen Black. Yeah, I didn’t know they did a movie together either. The only way this could have been more ’70’s was if the Village People showed up. (Sadly, they do not.) I’ve already admitted to being a sucker for bad sci-fi movies. I’m also a sucker for bad horror movies, or at least ones that don’t strive to be masochistic or dull as dirt. This starts off baffling, with some hoo-haa about a gem heist, and although the cast is white American, we’re in Brazil, which is important for the whole killer fish angle. I should warn those of you who are sensitive to...

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