The Start of A New Serial – The Wind Blows Through Their Skulls, Part 1

Hello everyone. Because I got a mad posh to do so, I’m serial fictioning again. This is a sort of cyberpunk noir, set in the near future, involving a genderfluid assassin, and a target that owns his own island. But things get odd, as they are wont to do. I will try and stay on a regular schedule if possible, but you know how life goes. I will update appropriately. As such, I also included a mini soundtrack for the chapters, because why not? I don’t know if I’ll do this each time, but we’ll see. I realize I should be on Patreon to do this, but I feel like I could never post regularly enough to be worth it, and besides, I’d feel weird making my readers pay for my rambling. So if you can, or feel you’d like to, you can throw some cash in my Ko -Fi, or buy...

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Something I’m working on …

So I asked on Twitter if people would rather read a bit of my Farscape but gayer thing, or my drunken time travel thing. Farscape won, so here we go, the “introducing most of the gang” moment. Keep in mind, this is still rough. But I wanted to prove I was still writing, contrary to all the evidence. And as of now, I have no title. Titles always seem like the last things to appear. ** Sayeed woke up with a huge pain in his neck, and a chalky taste in his mouth. That was usually the end result of being hit with a nerve disruptor. Also, having a shunt jammed into his nexus cluster to prevent it from operating. He sat up, and the shunt began broadcasting its canned message straight into his brain: “Sayeed Jackson Singh, you have been tried and...

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Flash Fiction Challenge – No Tell

New challenge, new story. I put the tweet I chose at the bottom, mainly because I wanted to see if anyone could figure out what it was before we got there. ** No Tell It started small at first. Stolen towels, broken ice machine, keys that didn’t work. It escalated to frogs in the bathroom, centipedes in the bed, torn sheets, and pillowcases full of garbage. The owner of the Nite Owl Motel couldn’t figure it out. He set up hidden security cameras, only for them to be found clogging toilets. The security tapes revealed nothing. There wasn’t a hint as to who might be doing this. No wayward shadow, no glimpse of a car. For all the world, phantoms were haunting his motel, turning it slowly into a trash pile. The Nite Owl was not a four star establishment by any...

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Flash Fic Challenge – A Date With Death

This is this week’s challenge, and I chose this photo.   (Photo credit to Piximus) ** A Date With Death   When Alfred first said he was dating Death, everyone thought it was a joke.   He had always been eccentric – preferring green tea to black, wearing full tie and tails down to breakfast, preferring women’s boots and nightgowns – but no one thought such a thing was even possible. Until Alfred was spotted riding a bike in the park with Death.   In this instance, Death was its skeletal self, although everyone quickly learned it had several guises, including the spectral figure in the hooded black cloak, a dog headed god being of some sort, and a sizable vulture. Alfred’s twin brother, Wilfred, was absolutely apoplexic. “What...

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Flash Fic Challenge – Hearts Aflame

This is a flash fic challenge, I did it, and right away I want to say this has spawned a hell of a plot bunny. This isn’t the last you’re seeing of Leo, Yuki, and Cain. I got occult detective/paranormal romance, and I so want to get into it. I know how Leo/Yuki came about, I know how Cain got all his stuff … I have so much back story guys! So consider this a teaser. N.B.: Yuki is genderless, and is referred to with they/them pronouns. ** Hearts Aflame Leo Sakai barely shut the door before the hounds of hell were slamming against it, making it rattle in its frame. He laughed darkly, pressing himself against the door. “Okay, Yuki, now’s a good time to stop being mad at me,” he said. “Oh, did you two have a fight again?” a voice asked...

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Josh Vs The Fairies of Doom, Part 2

Josh reflexively ducked when the glass of the door shattered, although Colin didn’t seem the least bit surprised. And why would he? Clearly he’d been fighting these things before he came here. Colin jumped over the counter, grabbed Josh, and pulled him down behind it for meager cover. There were sounds like pebbles smacking against the glass, but Josh was willing to bet it wasn’t pebbles. “How do we fight them?” “Very carefully,” Colin said. Josh scowled at the terrible joke, but Colin added, “No, I mean that. Medusa would rather have them back alive. Luckily, reverse tooth fairies are tougher than they seem for three inch long insects that sound like if a squeaky toy could talk.” “I could use some practical advice here,” Josh admitted. “Do...

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Flash Fiction Challenge – Seven Days of Fang (Two Stories For The Price of One)

So, the latest fic challenge is here, and I randomly got the title Seven Days of Fang. I actually had two ideas for this. One which I thought was obvious, the other which was really weird, but I ran out of room to explore. So here’s both. Pick your favorite if you have one. Seven Days of Fang – Story 1 Ultimately, no one was sure how it happened. There were lots of theories, from genetically modified crops to terrorist action to global warming, but there’s no answers as of yet. What happened was every human in the world woke up one day turned into animals. There was no rhyme or reason to any of the changes. The President woke up a hamster, while the Vice President woke up a musk ox. Families all became different animals entirely, including some...

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New flash fic challenge – Rapture

This is the latest flash fic challenge from Chuck Wendig. And here’s my story. Thanks to CDNWMN for the sentence. ** Rapture Demons and angels are sometimes hard to differentiate, and they are even harder to kill. I know this the hard way. I fired off the last round of silver buckshot before slamming the door. Salt and silver nitrate were fixed to the floor by glue, but that would be a minor inconvenience for the big boys. Even the sacred symbol made of iron nails hammered into the ceiling wouldn’t hold them back for long. This was it. I retreated behind the overturned sofa, where I had piled up all my ammo. I broke open the shotgun as I sat down, and loaded the chambers with the hybrid shells I’d invented. They contained silver shavings, iron...

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Flash Fic Challenge, Big Bad

Chuck Wendig had another flash fic challenge, and this is my addition to it. A little story about a werewolf, and a surprising weakness. ** Big, Bad Fear smelled like honeyed wine. Carlo followed its bright, intoxicating trail through the dark woods, running so fast it felt like his paws barely touched the ground. Up ahead he could hear the helpless cries of his prey, hopelessly trying to escape. Up ahead, he saw a squat square building that reeked of rotten, moldering wood. Did they think that was enough to save them? He charged towards the flimsy door, and flung himself at it with all his strength … … and rebounded off of it as he heard a sickening crack, and felt a lightning bolt of pain strike deep inside his skull. He landed on all fours and shook his...

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I’m up for some LR Cafe’s Best of 2012 Awards! Also, a snippet of Josh of the Damned.

Woohoo! I should crib for the Colbert Report and have a regular “who’s honoring me/who’s ignoring me” section. Anyhow, I’m up for some awards in the Best Paranormal/Fantasy Book, Best Series, and Best GBLT Author categories! The book that got the nod was the Josh of the Damned Triple Feature. As such, I thought I’d give you a tease for the book. What most people call a hellish shift, Josh Caplan calls a normal evening. After all, he works nights at a convenience store beside the mouth of hell, selling snacks to zombies and lizard men. And in this bit, Josh and his vampire boyfriend Colin are on the roof, and Colin lets Josh know something about himself that he never knew. While danger gets oddly closer …   ** Colin...

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Internal Emails of The Damned

Internal Emails of The Damned

For this stop on my Josh of the Damned tour, I have gotten my hands on internal e-mails from Quik-Mart Co. (don't ask how) that suggest Josh's life is about to get even more complicated ... **** For Quik-Mart Industries Internal Review Only! Destroy After Reading!

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Six Sentence Sunday

This is from The Little Death, a novella due out in October. My homage to Chandler. In this part, Detective Jake Falconer reminisces about his ex. His name was Kyle Gomez, always cute as a kitten in a mitten in his dress blues, his hair as glossy black as fresh tar and his eyes like two melted-down pennies, a coppery kind of brown that I swear seemed to shade darker or lighter depending on his mood. I always said he was too good looking to be a cop, and that was still true. I could get a semi thinking about the hard body beneath that polyester uniform, and the secret tattoo on the inside of his right thigh, the sword with wings that only his lovers ever knew about. Our break up wasn’t great. He said I drank too much, that I had no ambition, and I couldn’t...

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The latest Redemption Reef chapter is up …

… check it out. http://redemptionreef.wordpress.com/2011/03/28/rr-27-mano-a-mano/

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New Redemption Reef chapter is up …

Right here: http://redemptionreef.wordpress.com/2011/02/19/rr-21-love-shack/

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Latest Redemption Reef post is up …

Right here: http://redemptionreef.wordpress.com/2011/02/12/rr-18-the-reunion/

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My next Redemption Reef post is up …

http://redemptionreef.wordpress.com/2011/01/29/rr-8-the-flynn-supremacy/ Check it out.

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My first chapter on Redemption Reef is up …

http://redemptionreef.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/rr-5-identity-theft/ Check it out, if you’re so inclined.

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Manger Massacre

Too late for Christmas comes this atrocious, abominable tale that shouldn’t be read by anyone with a heart condition, dyspepsia, dropsy, dysplasia of the skull, male pregnancy, headupyourassitis, toffee beak, or anyone who’s had a humorectomy. This is foul, nasty, uncalled for, blasphemous, and anachronistic. So, hope you enjoy. Foul language and violence, as always. If you haven’t turned back by now, it’s too late. __________________ Manger Massacre By Andrea “You’re Just Asking For Trouble” Speed, with Some Dialogue Bits and Other Neat Stuff by Brandon “Yes, She’s Asking For Trouble” Schatz __________________ What has God wrought?” Joseph asked, kicking the head of Melchior closer to its former body....

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Warped: Thirteen – Pain

Warped by Andrea Speed Thirteen – Pain In retrospect, Dar realized that the fact that Khal stabilized so quickly should have been her tip off that something suspicious was going on. After Kvec returned Blue to her tank, he came back for the comatose Khal and carried him back to his room, as no one was sure what else to do with him. The Nyorai simply wasn’t built to take care of injured people, beyond its store of nanites. And poor Kvec got all the shit jobs since he was the strong one that wasn’t squeamish: after taking care of Khal, he was left to drag the bodies of the Tk’Tk’Skree to the airlock so they could be jettisoned out into space. There wasn’t much else they could do with them. In the meantime, she, Gen, and Skr’Takk were debating over...

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Warped: Twelve – Inside Out

Warped by Andrea Speed Twelve – Inside Out He was floating in blissful silence on a serene sea as warm as blood, the song of the Reds reverberating through him as they serenaded each other, sending their songs throughout the ocean that made up the majority of the planet. Behind the lids of his eyes the colors didn’t so much flash as kaleidoscope, one melding into another, the feelings weaving in and out into one melodious song of color. He could feel the tentacles of the tribe on his body, the tips just skating along the surface of his skin, letting their communication smooth over the rough spots in his mind. Khal felt a warm kind of peace, a pooling in the hollow beneath his collarbone, and he wished he could transform, become cartilage and tentacles,...

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Warped: Eleven – Mind Fields

Warped by Andrea Speed Eleven – Mind Fields Sometimes even when you had all the data, it wasn’t enough to help you make sense of things. She had the medical scanners trained on Khal the whole time, and everything they were reporting was, to Dar’s eyes, gibberish. He was having some kind of massive brain seizure, especially concentrated in the areas of the brain which were the “empathy” centers. She had lots of brain energy patterns stored in the database, all personalized for Khal and his unusual brain … and none of them came even close to matching. When things stopped, they almost stopped dead, as if a sudden downpour had given way to an eerie, dry calm. Khal, who was already on his knees, stopped screaming and keeled over, hitting the deck face...

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Warped: Ten – Emotional Rescue

Warped by Andrea Speed Ten – Emotional Rescue The pain in his head was so great he wanted to find a drill and put a new hole in his head, preferably in his right temple, and just drain the pain out. Let out the pressure in a wave of blood and brain matter, ease it to a more tolerable level. Of course Khal wasn’t so gone that he didn’t realize that was insane, but it didn’t make him want to do it any less. It hurt – the pain pulsed like a second heart deep inside his cranium, and he just wanted it to stop. If he carved his own skull open, it would stop. Although, if he stopped focusing on it, it would … well, not stop, but lessen slightly. Maybe. He’d come to understand, with increased close proximity exposure to Skr’Takk, that the strange...

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Warped: Nine – Bug Bomb

Warped by Andrea Speed Nine – Bug Bomb First contact situations were always tricky things. But they got infinitely trickier when the alien you were meeting seemed to think they had met you before … and didn’t like you. Vani felt she had an advantage over everyone here, since she had worked in the MoSys bureaucracy for ten years, and knew the first contact protocols. Only there were several problems: she was never a member of the Diplomatic Corps, so the finer details of it all were lost on her; her Negotiator was a half-sane drug addict, and about as stable as a shuttle with a single working thruster; this race claimed to have met them before and hate them, which was never covered in any of the Protocols she saw; and there was the problem that she worked...

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Warped: Eight – Entomophobia

Warped by Andrea Speed Eight – Entomophobia After discovering blood, no one was actually anxious to enter the station, except for Vani, who went ahead and triggered the inner airlock door. Khal was happy to try and anchor on to her emotional state, as Syshahi just weren’t very emotional ever. It was good, because everybody was freaking; even Kvec was starting to panic, which was weird and unsettling. But finding blood inside an airlock in a strange place – after watching an entire ship get sucked in on itself – was a naturally freaky thing. He was pretty sure he was panicking too, his heart was racing laps around his chest, occasionally kicking at his ribcage like it wanted out. Khal didn’t blame it; out seemed like an ideal place to...

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Warped: Seven – So, Who Are The Proctologists Of This Galaxy?

Warped by Andrea Speed Seven – So, Who Are The Proctologists Of This Galaxy? The coordinates for the area technically didn’t exist, which seemed to be more a theoretical problem than a practical one. Of course the area existed. But it was just beyond what was considered a properly mapped area, so in official techno-speak, it was a “potential territory”, not yet exploited by the system or mass marketers. But on the good chance that that would encourage people to go looking around before they could stake a claim, these “potential territories” were usually flagged as dangerous for some reason. This one actually had a couple of good reasons to be flagged dangerous: it was the home of a blue giant star – lots of radiation, intense heat – and...

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Warped: Six – Gravity

Warped by Andrea Speed Six – Gravity It should have been comforting that he couldn’t sense anyone beyond his team, but it wasn’t. Khal couldn’t shake the feeling that everything here was wrong, beyond the fact that they seemed to be looking at the aftermath of a slaughter. This was all set up so incorrectly he would have thought it was a frame job, only that didn’t really make sense either. For what? And who would do this anyways? MoSys was the governmental version of a sexually transmitted flesh eating disease, but they didn’t kill people without some sort of reason, no matter how meager. The emotions from the others were crowding him, but he did his best to focus on Dar, who was simply feeling curiosity. Gen seemed to be secretly convinced they...

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Warped: Five – You First

Warped by Andrea Speed Five – You First He hated EVA suits.Oh sure, technically they were just a ring of smart metal you snapped around your waist and activated, and it did all the work for you. But it felt slick inside, slimy, like a whole bunch of tiny, damp snakes were using him as a personal waterslide. Disgusting. But Gen knew he really didn’t have a choice in the matter. It wasn’t like he could just walk out the airlock without any protection at all. But while the metal grew along his body, becoming translucent at the top so he could actually see where the fuck he was going, he grumbled, “Dar’s gone crazy, hasn’t she? She’s out of her fucking mind.” “Wouldn’t you be if you had ta babysit a buncha losers?” Bruno replied...

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Warped: Four – Fear of a Black Planet

Warped by Andrea Speed Four – Fear of a Black Planet Much like the Cryers, MoSys had released little information on the gates. In fact, it was a capitol crime to release any less than generic information about the gates, as they were copyrighted and intellectually protected to the point where anybody who ever repaired anything on the gate was subject to mind wiping straight afterward. It’s possible the gates were created by someone in MoSys R& D, who was promptly made to forget they weren’t getting paid royalties for it. Talk about saving money. But the prevalent rumor was this was salvaged alien technology, and it was easy to believe, namely since they’d been around as far as Dar could remember. Not that that was all that long – in a...

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Warped: Three – The Third Sex

Warped by Andrea Speed Three – The Third Sex The entire problem with the universe was it was full of people.They were everywhere, clinging to every rocky outpost nowhere garbage planet, to little ships and decrepit old space stations little better than tin cans. The universe would be a much better place if there were fewer of them – or so Gen honestly thought. As long as they skipped him (or her, whatever the case was at the time). And why had he cast his lot with these losers? It was so many months ago, he could hardly remember. It was just an impulsive decision, a desire to get away from the rehab facility as fast and as soon as possible, and the Nyorai was the only ride out. She had no way of knowing (and he was a she at the time) the class of...

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Warped: Two – The Silence of the Meatbags

Warped by Andrea Speed Two – The Silence of the Meatbags What Kvec didn’t get about the meatbags was the silent hatred. Why didn’t they just say “fuck off” or whatever? Why the stewing? They had so many words at their disposal, so why didn’t they use them? The Nyorai didn’t land; if someone saw the ship, they’d report it for not having a proper beacon, if they didn’t recognize it on sight. So they’d gone down in a shuttle, and now, on their way back, Gen was alone in piloting it. Not that it was that difficult to pilot a shuttle, it was mostly automated anyways, and Dar could always link up to it remotely and fly it if need be. Kvec couldn’t sit up in the pilot or co-pilot seats, as they were made for smaller humanoids, and he knew he’d...

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Warped: One – In Space, No One Can Hear You Complain

Warped by Andrea Speed One – In Space, No One Can Hear You Complain You knew it was a seedy dive when they had a “lost and found” box full of hands just behind the bar. You’d think the cybernetic ones would have some kind of identification chip in them, but perhaps not – perhaps they were bootlegs, or illegally modified. As for the organic ones, those might be harder to trace. The Ignig one was suspended next to the holographic painting, which was now displaying a waterscape that moved with such metronomic precision he was sure he was getting seasick just watching it. The Ignig would never come back for the lost hand, as they could regenerate almost all their lost appendages, which is probably why it was encased in liquid plasticine and hung up...

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Jingle Hell – A Christmas Horror Story

Disclaimer: This is a nasty and disturbed piece of work. If you are disturbed by graphic violence involving beloved Christmas characters, don’t read it. Go read something nice instead. The writer nor the site is responsible for any emotional or mental distress if you read it anyways. (No, the baby Jesus doesn’t kill anyone … that’s the next story, Manger Massacre.) JINGLE HELL The good thing about a hard frost was he didn’t have to worry about dogs digging up the body.It wasn’t that the ground was all that hard, although it could be, especially in the area around the old septic tank, where liquid waste had permeated the ground and made it a swampy, smelly morass during all but the driest days of the year. No, it was the lack of smell...

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