Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Review – 1204: The Day Time Ended

Oh, as soon as this said it was a Charles Band film, I knew we were in for it. If you don’t know who he is, lucky you. Let’s just say he’s known for his Z grade movies, some of which manage to be entertaining even though, honestly, they’re terrible. I had a feeling this wouldn’t be one of those ones. I was right. This is a ’70’s film about a couple of with it grandparents in the southwest who construct a fully solar powered home, with a surprise. Namely that cheaply stop animated aliens are around, some good and some bad, tossing around furniture and appearing in green glows of psychedelic mist. What do they want? Why have they bonded with the little girl of the family? Will any of this ever add up to anything entertaining? Since I’ve agreed to no...

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Reviews – Episode 1203: Lords of the Deep

As they tell you before the film starts, this is a rip off of a rip off of a rip off, which means it’s almost an original idea again. Except, no. Although I haven’t seen a single one of the films that this is a watered down version of, immediately my first thought was it was a combination of Seaquest and Aliens – a James Cameron turducken, if you will – but so much worse. And while it’s very easy to do with the former, it feels like sacrilege with the latter. One thing I will give it is it manages to get to plot action fast, and without the incoherence of Atlantic Rim. But that might be the only nice thing I can say about it. Although let me preface this by saying it is actually the best of the movies so far this season, but that’s an easy...

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Review – Episode 1202: Atlantic Rim

Episode 2 is an Asylum film – maker of cheap and cheesy rip-off movies, and the actually not terrible Z Nation (seriously, it’s much more fun than the Walking Dead). And as you may have guessed from the title, this is a cheap and cheesy Pacific Rim knock off, with a touch of Godzilla and by the end, the first Avengers film. The CGI is terrible and never believable, but is at least a break from ugly alien puppets. It eschews plot and coherence for poorly filmed action and stock footage, as well as sweaty actors on small sound stages. Pacific Rim was an enjoyable if kind of silly movie, but this makes it seem like a masterpiece in retrospect, with great character work and a generally comprehensible story line. The immediate drawback of the film –...

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule review – Episode 1201: Mac and Me

Of course I’m watching the new MST3K season, and as I do, I’m posting my reviews. Here we go with the first one. No movie spoilers, if you want it to be a surprise, but honestly – none of these movies are worth it. ** The rebooted Mystery Science Theater 3000 is back, with a shorter six episode season. They hand wave away the cliffhanger the Kinga/Jonah , which may annoy people, but it feels like a very MST3K to do. (And it may come back – this is episode one, after all.) It’s not important, let’s move on. So we do, and the first movie up is the epic piece of shit known as Mac and Me, a crass McDonald’s sponsored rip off of E.T. I’ve known about this film but never seen it, although I felt like I had. Truth is, I hadn’t. Wow....

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Books on sale alert!

I rarely do this, which shows. I should do this more often. All my books are on sale at DSP! From shifter PIs, hooker urban vigilantes, and supervillains in love, there’s a lot of weirdness to go around. (And I mean it in a good way.)

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