The latest interview!

Next up in my interviews is Lynnaea “Lyn” Argyris, who you might now from Esme’s interview, is not your average person. Far from it. 


Want to give the whole dating ap spiel? Ooh, let’s see – my name is Lynnaea, I like kicking ass and taking names. Turn ons include men who shut up and women who can rock a spiffy hat. Turn offs include mansplaining, being a Trump supporter – but I repeat myself – and pistachios. I mean, good god, have people ever eaten those? Ick.


Is there an age range? Age isn’t that important to me, as long as you’re legal. And I see what you’re doing, and no.


No what? Not telling you my age. But I am so much older than I look.


Esme told me you’re a harpy, which means you’re a limited shapeshifter. I am indeed.

So you can look like any woman? And is your green hair dyed or not? Yes, any woman at any time. We’re not just old crones, like sexists myths would tell you. And yes, I can change my hair color and skin color to anything. So I did pick this green and change the color without dye. I like to stay current with trends.


Can you change your height too? A bit. But when you get really out there on stretching or shrinking, it starts to hurt. So you have to weigh how much it means to you, versus how much it’s going to hurt.


Like much of life. Ha! Yeah, exactly.


Now you’re the girlfriend of Esme, but you used to be the girlfriend of Logan? Yep. I’m bi, but in general, I prefer women over men. But my god – have you seen Logan? Who doesn’t want to break off a piece of that ass? That boy’s fine as hell. I mean, you’d have to sleep with him just for the story.


So that’s all it was? I heard that your relationship with him was a little odd. Yeah. I’m not sure there’s any way to tell that story that makes me look any good. I mean, I pick up some mercenary work here and there, because being a harpy means I’m strong as hell and hard to hurt, and I’ve perfected my ass kicking over the years. I got hired to keep an eye on Logan, and once I saw him, I figured fuck, let’s have some fun with this, you know? I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time. But then I found out who I was working for, and it got a bit messy. Logan felt used, which was fair, but I think we got over that.


Who were you working for? Heaven. The fucking feathers brigade. Can you believe that? Assholes.


Not a fan of Heaven? I’m not a fan of being used or manipulated. People that try that shit on me usually pay in blood.


Still, this is Heaven we’re talking about. I know. I don’t care. I ain’t afraid of those self-righteous motherfuckers.


Tell me how you really feel. Perhaps I should have said at the outset, if you want a shrinking violet type, you’ve come to the wrong house.


What about Hell? What about them?


Are you afraid of them? The leather faces? No.They’re just as bad as the feathers.


Are you afraid of anything? Umm … no, now that I think about it. What do I have to be afraid of? You piss me off, and I can rip you open nose to nuts and eat your liver right in front of you before you die. Heaven and Hell should be afraid of me.


And if they have any sense, I’m sure they are.

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