Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Reviews – Episode 1203: Lords of the Deep

As they tell you before the film starts, this is a rip off of a rip off of a rip off, which means it’s almost an original idea again. Except, no.

Although I haven’t seen a single one of the films that this is a watered down version of, immediately my first thought was it was a combination of Seaquest and Aliens – a James Cameron turducken, if you will – but so much worse. And while it’s very easy to do with the former, it feels like sacrilege with the latter. One thing I will give it is it manages to get to plot action fast, and without the incoherence of Atlantic Rim. But that might be the only nice thing I can say about it.

Although let me preface this by saying it is actually the best of the movies so far this season, but that’s an easy target to hit when the preceding films are Mac and Me and Atlantic Rim. This is a mess, with an evil corporation, the ocean standing in for space, a cheap monster, and extended, threadbare hallucination sequences and docking sequences that really pad the movie out. There is a nice couple of throwaway lines to the environmental damage of global warming, which makes this low budget, retro film sadly relevant. As the gang points out, this is a movie of only white people, and only a porn ‘stashe and the villainous commander can help you tell a couple of the guys apart. The two women at least have different hair color.

Speaking of which, I can actually say one more good thing about this film – a woman is the main character. Thank you Sigourney Weaver. It’s a shame that Claire isn’t quite as compelling as Ripley, but hey, it’s fairly rare in MST3K turkeys. Also, in movies outside the rom-com genre. Hey, why aren’t women the main characters in more movies?

Anyhoo, this is a terrible movie that you could probably write in your sleep, if you have a penchant for ’80’s sci-fi movie cliches, terrible hair, and worse jumpsuits. Luckily, I do have a soft spot for this kind of crap. Four out of six rockets.

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