Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Review – 1205: Killer Fish

Next up is the silly horror movie/crime hybrid with the bare bones title Killer Fish, which you probably would have guessed was a ’70’s movie even before I told you it stars Lee Major and Karen Black. Yeah, I didn’t know they did a movie together either. The only way this could have been more ’70’s was if the Village People showed up. (Sadly, they do not.)

I’ve already admitted to being a sucker for bad sci-fi movies. I’m also a sucker for bad horror movies, or at least ones that don’t strive to be masochistic or dull as dirt. This starts off baffling, with some hoo-haa about a gem heist, and although the cast is white American, we’re in Brazil, which is important for the whole killer fish angle. I should warn those of you who are sensitive to it, there’s gratuitous backgammon. If that doesn’t make it clear, this is one of those dull as dirt movies.

The main story is a mess, as is the B story with a fashion model, to get another ’70’s staple – Margeaux Hemingway – in, and gives the movie a stab at comic relief with a fat photographer. The story really doesn’t work as a horror movie, nor a crime movie. There’s no suspense, and the “special effects” are basically plastic fish and Kool-Aid. The final twist, easily anticipated, makes no sense. On the plus side, this doesn’t seem to take four hours, although it’s not a fast paced movie by any means. It’s just ill considered and dumb, which, again, could apply to almost any MST3K movie.

Oof. This one is not good people. They do the best they can, and Growler constantly turning up with disgusting foods at the exact wrong moment is a cute gag, but this movie just lays there like a dead fish. Three and a half rockets out of six.

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