Mystery Science Theater 3000 Capsule Review – 1204: The Day Time Ended

Oh, as soon as this said it was a Charles Band film, I knew we were in for it. If you don’t know who he is, lucky you. Let’s just say he’s known for his Z grade movies, some of which manage to be entertaining even though, honestly, they’re terrible. I had a feeling this wouldn’t be one of those ones. I was right.

This is a ’70’s film about a couple of with it grandparents in the southwest who construct a fully solar powered home, with a surprise. Namely that cheaply stop animated aliens are around, some good and some bad, tossing around furniture and appearing in green glows of psychedelic mist. What do they want? Why have they bonded with the little girl of the family? Will any of this ever add up to anything entertaining? Since I’ve agreed to no spoilers, I can’t answer most of the questions, but I can answer the last one. No.

This is kind of a riff on Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but less compelling and stupider, which could probably be applied to all MST3K movies in one way or another. A lot of things don’t happen in this movie, and it never knows exactly what story it’s telling. It doesn’t know how to create tension, so there’s long stretches of silence and standing around, so, in other words, classic MSTie fodder. I did enjoy this, as there’s many good laughs in here, no thanks to the incomprehensible, slow moving plot, and the senseless jumble of aliens and glamour shots of station wagons. I realize now I’m saying every movie is my favorite of the season beyond the first two, and it’s probably a form of Stockholm Syndrome. But I really am a sucker for these bullshit, bad sci-fi movies, and this is one of the bullshittiest. Yes, I know that’s not a word, and I don’t care. This movie probably wouldn’t either.

Now where did I put my bust of Tilda Swinton and brutalist credenza? Five out of six rockets.

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