Latest WIP interview!

This time with Logan Fox, the human of the group. He’s special without being special. Or something like that. (And I can confirm he is the male equivalent of the face that launched a thousand ships.) 

Why don’t you give us your dating ap breakdown. Okay, I’m Logan, twenty nine, a Sagittarius I think. I work hard and I play hard, only I’ve not really had time to work or play recently, as I’m too busy trying to stay alive and prevent an apocalypse. So what I’m saying is I’m exhausted, and running on three hours sleep and too many iced coffees. My stomach is currently undergoing its own personal Ragnarök.

TMI, dude. Well, that ap shit is ridiculous. I’m not disparaging anyone who uses them, but, fuck, where do you find the time? But then again, I don’t suppose most people have spent their entire lives running from demons and angels.

I would guess not. What’s your role in the Losers? Oh, is that what we’re calling our group? Fitting. Esme come up with that? I fulfill the mediocre white man quotient of the team, so if our lives ever get made into a movie, my role can be filled by any one of Hollywood’s fine Ryans or Chrises.

Be serious. I’ve heard you’re the only human anyone knows about that has been able to fight demons and survive. That’s really overselling it. Yes, I’ve fought demons hand to hand and survived, but understand I was trained to a ridiculous degree. My mother, despite being a drunk and considered mentally ill most of her life, was big on getting me trained to take on the demons and angels that would come for me. Which is patently ridiculous. A human taking on a demon or an angel would be like a single ant taking on a Sherman tank.

And yet … Well, I guess all those countless hours wasted on learning every martial art possible finally paid off. But really, I got the best lessons from those bare bones self-defense courses thrown in there.

Really? Yes. They were big on finding the weak point of the opponent and hammering it until it breaks. Luckily, most demons have the same weak points as humans – eyes, throat, groin, knee. That’s all I do. I pick a spot and I hammer it until you don’t wanna bug me anymore. Much like a guy at parties who bangs on about capitalism or veganism until you want to murder him with a Funko Pop.

That sounds very specific. I don’t get invited to many parties.

But you have angel blood in your family, right? Doesn’t that give you an advantage? I was told that was latent, so no. I’m not super strong or anything. I don’t burn demons by touching them. I’m just a chump with a fucked up family tree.

What does your mother have to say about it? She’s been dead since I was seventeen.

Sorry. It’s okay. Everybody knows anti-psychotics and alcohol really shouldn’t be mixed, but sometimes you gotta push the boat out, you know?

No, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Neither do I. Sometimes I just yammer and hope people won’t notice how much of a freak I am.

But you’ve never fought angels? You can’t really fight angels. For the most part, they don’t like to get their hands dirty, and see no point in bothering with insects like us. Besides, the physical bodies they have are usually simulacrums that have the bare minimum of a tangibility to them.

I barely understood what you said. That’s okay. I barely understood what I said. I really need sleep. It’s hard being the one measly human in a group of superheroes. I mean, Hawkeye must feel this way all the time.

And you’re the ex of Lyn and the current of Ceri. That must be weird. Yeah, my life was fucked up from the get go, and this ride has never slowed down.

Speaking of which, Aaron – No.

What do you mean no? I’m not discussing my brother. I thought I was clear that I was willing to talk about everything but that.

But … You think I won’t walk?

Ceri threatened to storm out of the interview too. Well, see? We must belong together. We both don’t have time for shitty questions.

I see now how you defeated the demons. With your shitty attitude. Hey, us puny humans have got to have some kind of defense mechanism.

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