Stupid Questions With The Infected Cast, Part 1

Okay, this seemed like a fun idea at the time. Ask some of my Infected characters stupid question. Some took to it better than others. P.S.: I was going to do multiple questions, but since no one could just answer the damn question succinctly, I will spread these out until release day. (May 17th!)

1, If you could be any kind of animal, what kind of animal would you be? Note: Humans and big cats don’t count for this question.

Roan: How is that fair? I mean, my answer’s built right in. Fine, I’ll be a honey badger then. People will leave me alone, right?

Holden: What the fuck kind of question is that? Can I be mythical? (No.) Okay, platypus then. Or vampire bat. Maybe a wolverine. This is harder than I thought. It’d be much easier if I could just say dragon or hippogriff.

Grey: Capybara. (Why?) They seem pretty chill.

Fiona: Bear. Huge grizzly bear. (Why?) There’s a lot of people I’d like to tear to pieces, and that may be my best bet for making that happen. We can’t be dinosaurs, can we? (No.)

Dylan: Oh. Umm … that’s a hard one. I think I’d like to be a bird, because you could fly, but being a bird really doesn’t seem that great otherwise. Then I think maybe a whale, because that would seem serene, but then people occasionally hunt you, and how is that fun? Can I think about this some more and get back to you?

Tank: Raven. (Why?) So I can fly into people’s windows and freak them the fuck out.

Dropkick: Pufferfish. (Why?) ‘Cause even if you kill me, I can still kill you.

Paris: Hmm. Something small and furry and cuddly. How about a quokka? Those Australian animals that always look like they’re smiling. Count me in.

Dee: Skunk. (Why?) ‘Cause I’d get some peace and quiet for once. Everybody’s avoiding me, and if I don’t like you, I douse you in filth. How is that not great?

Randi: Big ass goat. (Why?) I have a lot of people to butt.

Scott: A good looking house cat, like a Persian or something. (Why?) People would pamper the shit out of me. Sign me up for that.

Dylan: Okay, I think I’ve finally decided. I want to be an octopus. (Why?) They live in the ocean, they’re smart, they have a whole lot of arms. I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer, but I hurt my brain trying to think of the perfect answer. I settled for octopus.

Kevin: Otter. (Why?) They’re cute, and they look like they have fun.

Gordo: Dog. Like a bulldog or something. (Why?) I like dogs.

Shep: Ooh, what about one of those pink river dolphins? That’d be cool. (Why?) No idea. I just think it’d be neat.

So that’s all for our first round of stupid questions. Maybe the next question will be even stupider.