Flash Fiction – Pure Filth

Although it was a genuine writing challenge, I just wanted to write something with as many curse words as possible in the smallest amount of space. This has no redeeming qualities.


“What kind of fucknuggets did people used to be?” Roman asked, scratching his head.

They’d been hard at work unearthing artifacts of the early twenty first century, and this was one of the most startling yet. It was right up there with that woman famous for her gigantic ass on a show that was purported to be reality. “I don’t know,” Audra admitted. “This fucking Clean Reader app supposedly sanitized books for motherfuckers who couldn’t take one fucking bad word or dick-punching anatomical terms.”

““What the fuck ..? What kind of dick bucket backwards assnozzles would jizz all over artistic integrity like that?”

“Fuck if I know, Roman. A portion of the butt-felching population at the time seemed to be into censoring things to delicate for their father-fucking selves or their shitlicking children. They used to view gayness as some kind of prick shitting threat to them.”

“Were they all towel fucking morons?” Roman sat the app reader down and scowled at the machine.

“Well, maybe. The piss chuggers also covered everything in bacon.”

Roman made a noise of disgust. “So fat and cousin fucking stupid?”

“Apparently. Why the fuck would any fuckity fucks do such a stupid, nose fucking thing?’

“It’s taint humping stuff like this which is why humanity is going extinct.”

Audra shut off the reader and sighed. “Wanna get some fucking shitty lunch?”

“Yeah, let’s go for it. I could use something to tickle my scrote.”

“I want some pig fucking ice cream,” Audra said, as they left the app reader on the counter, missing the Ok Cupid ad that popped up.

(The clean version of this story would only be 231 words.)

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