14 – Horse Girl

Roan carefully unfolded himself from his hiding place and sniffed the air, closing his eyes so he could concentrate on the neon thread of his own blood, the scent cutting through the miasma of neglect that made the air seem like a thick sludge. He gauged distance by its strength, opened his eyes, and followed it.

He stuck to the shadows – not as easy as you would think, as it was night and the existence of shadows themselves was disputable – and it wasn’t too long before he found him, a shambling figure in a desert style camo jacket (tan on brown – exactly who did he think he was fooling?)  with a worn backpack slung across his shoulders. He could have passed for any of Seattle’s homeless, except he smelled of expensive soap, and of course in his backpack he had an expensive compact crossbow and a set of quality knives. Roan watched as he headed to one of the seemingly abandoned tenements – not the one he’d found the abattoir in. Did he even know his skinning shack had been discovered by police? Maybe he didn’t care; maybe he knew that the worst he could be prosecuted for was desecration of a corpse. It wasn’t like he was killing “real” people.

He went inside, and Roan waited, giving him time to get ahead of him. He was in no hurry, not as long as he had his crossbow with him. He was growling under his breath, and he tried to stop, but it was too painful. This was one of those times when he could feel the beast inside him stretching out, getting ready to lunge out of him like his skin was an ill fitting suit. He would fight it for as long as he possibly could, but lately he hadn’t been doing so well reining in his impulses.

Well, that just sucked for Lee, didn’t it?

****

Holden did his best to stay downwind of Roan, but that was kind of difficult, mainly because he wasn’t paying that much attention to wind direction. Did it matter anyways? He could probably smell him if he was anywhere within a hundred feet of him. How creepy must that be? Always smelling people. He bet they smelled horrible, no matter how much they bathed, like a poorly maintained zoo in summer. The thought was enough to make him shudder.

Roan must have tagged his guy, as he headed for one of the “abandoned” buildings (abandoned his ass, but even if he were still on the street, he wouldn’t sleep there – it was a good way to get shanked in your sleep or gang raped), and Holden kept him in view as he went inside. He didn’t want to seem like he was watching the building, but it was hard not to. Still, if Lee saw him, what was he going to do, fire a bow at him? All he could think in response to that was ‘Bring it on, Robin Hood’, but that was the sort of thing that landed you in the emergency room with an arrow in your ass.

“Hey, wannablaugged?” a woman asked, approaching him unsteadily. She was thirty going on eighty, ridden ragged by drug abuse, her eyes glassy and slightly unfocused. She was sort of looking at him and sort of not, wearing a skirt way too short for her stick like, veiny legs, goose pimpled from the cold, tottering unsteadily on her budget high heels, her half shirt thin and stretched perilously across her breasts, revealing her bra was a lighter color beneath. Her hair was stringy and dull, with the best looking part of her ratty hair the clearly inferior weave that was sort of haphazardly interlaced through her locks. She smelled of body odor, cheap perfume, and Mad Dog crossed with crack smoke.

“Pardon?”

“Wanna blaughgged?” Her speech was slurred, like her tongue was swollen and heavy in her mouth, and he wondered if she had a tongue piercing that had gone wrong.

After a moment of trying to figure out her mashed speech and her vaguely expectant expression, he interpreted what she said. “Are you asking if I want a blow job?” Her head twitched in a way that was probably a nod. “Hon, I’m a hooker too. I think it’s professional courtesy that we don’t mix.”

It seemed to take a moment for that to sink in. “Yuga?”

He had cracked her code – she had asked ‘You gay?’ “Yep.”

“Icunjerguoff.”

In junkie whore speech, that was ‘I can jerk you off’.  Wow, what an enticing proposition. He was about to tell her that when there was an unmistakable angry roar. Fear brought some of her awareness back, and she looked over his shoulder at the abandoned building. “Whaddafugizzat?”

He dug a couple of twenties out of his pocket, and held them up, between his fingers. “I didn’t hear anything.”

The wonderful thing about a prostitute was you didn’t need to barter with them. There didn’t need to be any explanation of terms or reasons given. You offered money, and that was enough; everything was understood. You were paying them to leave you alone and contract temporary amnesia. She took the money, and said, “Didunherfing.” ‘Didn’t hear anything.’ She then turned and tottered away, even as someone screamed and there was another roar.  “Oh, and if you encounter anyone on your way to the crack house,” Holden told her. “You may want to tell them to run.” If she heard him, she didn’t acknowledge it. It might not do any good anyways.

He approached the building, wondering if he should run too. After all, there was nothing keeping Roan, in lion form, from coming after him. He was betting his life on Roan not doing the full lion, but having enough control to be pulled back from the brink. Considering his tumors and his general illness, this probably wasn’t a safe bet. But, the safer bet was he wouldn’t stay conscious through such a full, rapid transition, and that’s what he was betting on.

As for Lee, he’d probably do the smart thing, and as soon as Roan collapsed, he’d make a run for it. And he’d run straight into a bullet.

The thing about true psychopaths was they were generally smart enough (barely) to be bottom feeders. They generally killed people in the lower rungs of society, people who wouldn’t be missed by authorities unless someone made a stink about it, or they became so egregious in their behavior it couldn’t be ignored. That meant hookers, junkies, gays, runaways, minorities of all stripes … infecteds included. Hell, it was legal to kill infecteds under certain circumstances, so who gave a shit?

Holden did. As far as he was concerned, it was even worse than plain old murder; there was a sour taste of contempt to it all that really offended his sense of justice. The deaths weren’t even personal, they were killed because of what they represented, and at least if someone was going to murder you, they could know your fucking name. The least they could do was kill you for you, he could accept that a bit better. (Which was perverse, but whatever.)

So, if things went as he assumed they would, Lee would think he caught a lucky break when Roan collapsed, and he’d come plunging straight into a hollow point, never quite knowing how bad his luck had turned.

At least Holden knew his name.

****

The interior of the building was no better than the interior of the previous building, meaning if you wanted some Human shit and used needles, you were in luck. But by now he was accustomed to horrible smells, and Roan was able to shove them aside and focus on the scent of his own blood, which led up a rickety staircase. Slats were missing in the railing (less a railing and more the damaged ribcage of some decrepit old beast, left to rot in the sun), and the steps were mostly intact, although a couple were soft in some spots, the wood creaking and threatening to give way. Lee had gone up to the third floor, which was probably the last fully intact floor, but also high up enough to give him a good view of both of the major drug houses. Made sense; he never knew what drug of choice his potential victim would prefer. Might as well split the difference if at all possible.

He was briefly worried about making sound, but then stopped worrying about it, because the smell of rat shit suggested a major infestation, and they wouldn’t be quiet (the only reason they were now was because they’d all fled; Lee, unobservant, hadn’t noticed the rodent tide fleeing ahead of a vaguely feline tragedy of nature).

He was still growling, and hadn’t stopped. The best he could do was keep it low, below a roar. But as he walked down the hall, towards an ajar door (Lee was just beyond it), he wondered how he should approach this. Was he really just going to attack? Or was he going to give this fuckstick one chance to say why the fuck he did this? Roan knew why, it could have been one of a handful of things all based on hate, but he wanted to know what his insane rationale was. It was some obsessive-compulsive need to hear it straight from the lunatic’s mouth.

He gave the door a tiny push, expecting a creaking hinge, but it was quiet. Lee was crouched by the frame of a former window, looking out with what might have been an expensive knock off set of night vision binoculars. He could have pounced on him with him never being the wiser, but something in him wanted him to be the wiser. He wanted him to face him, and realize what he’d brought upon himself.

“Did you really think you’d get away with this forever?” he asked.

Lee jumped up and spun, dropping his binoculars and raising his crossbow. Upon seeing him, he got slightly wide eyed. He was a plain looking white man with a weak chin and widely spaced eyes; not truly ugly, but very average, not a winner of beauty contests. It was sort of funny – you hoped that the truly evil would look that way, but more often than not they looked just like the guy ahead of you at Starbucks. You saw this guy a billion times and never really noticed him.

“Hey, you’re that kitty fag!”

Roan sighed, which was difficult to do since he was still growling. “I have a name. Why don’t you people ever remember -”

Lee had fired his crossbow, which Roan knew was coming. It was the way he shifted his balance, the way his arm tensed before he pulled the trigger, it telegraphed his move like a bad poker player accidentally showing his hand. Roan had lunged for him with a roar just when he fired, and he was fairly sure he felt the arrow fly past his ear, possibly nick it, before Roan crashed into him and rode him down to the floor.

They hit hard enough that he heard floorboards crack beneath them, and his rage seemed to explode inside him as he slammed down Lee’s hand, sending the crossbow clattering along the floor as his arm shattered. He screamed and bucked beneath him, and a roar vomited out of Roan, with enough force that his own jaw snapped and his mouth filled with blood. His eyesight immediately shifted, like someone hitting a switch, and suddenly the room was awash in light, all the scents glowing with their own color.

Lee squirmed with new energy, and got a leg up and was able to kick him off, but not far, and as he scrabbled away like a three legged crab, Roan felt the lion take over. He was doing his best to hold it back, but it didn’t work, just like he feared it wouldn’t.

Lee had tears of pain running down his face, his right arm hanging limp and twisted at his side, and while he picked up one of his skinning knives and pointed it in his direction, he reeked of sour fear. “You can’t change like this! It doesn’t work like this!”

Roan had enough Humanity left to find this almost funny. No shit it didn’t work like this, except it did for him. He called him kitty fag, but freak would have encapsulated him much better. As anger suffused him with warmth and inchoate rage, he felt something else as well: pain. Knifing through his head, down his arms, an electric current down his spine, pouring into his legs, making his muscles feel like melting wax. The lion was angry, but in his own mind he felt the distance, the strange layer developing between consciousness and whatever else there was. It was pain, and yet it was pain so intense it was almost a high; either way, it was overloading his neurons, and he felt suddenly like he could go either way: full lion, or straight into a coma.

Judging by his fear stink, Lee wasn’t picking up any of this. He was trying to scoot towards the door, keeping the knife aimed at him like a bimbo in a slasher film, like a knife would stop him (or Freddy or Jason or whoever). “Fucking freak! Keep away from me!”

Roan heard his blood splattering on the floor as it spilled out of his mouth. He was on all fours, growling louder than ever, and the pain was sinking its claws in. He could feel metal spikes stabbing through his spongy grey matter, the pain prickling through his body like needles in his blood. It was making the lion angrier, and yet it was so intense it was keeping his Human side in the mix. He didn’t know how it worked, but he still had some awareness, so he couldn’t complain. Except he was experiencing the precarious high of holding on to a fifteen story ledge by one fingertip – eventually he would fall, but for now it was wildly thrilling.

He got out the door and slammed it, but Roan pounced and broke down the door, which fell in a halo of dust and a scattering of broken wood. Lee stumbled back, staring at him mouth agape, fear like ammonia coming off him in shimmering waves. “What the fuck – what the fuck are you? You’re a monster!”

He roared, and Lee had no way of knowing, but Roan was agreeing with him. Yes, he was a monster, and it took one to know one, so where did that leave them? He stalked forward, head down, panting through the pain, feeling his skin boil and his bones twitch.

Lee kept the knife out, as if that was stopping him, and was backing up down the hall. Roan made a conscious decision to lunge, to see if he could stoke his fear even more. His hand was shaking, and he bet he could make the big bad serial killer drop his knife and run like a little girl.

All he had to do was run. The lion would be on him in a second. Big cats wanted you to run.

Roan lunged with a roar, and Lee did jerk back, but he didn’t drop the knife until he stumbled back and suddenly lost his balance. But he didn’t hit the floor.

He had reached the stairs, and now he was falling down them. There was a yelp of surprise followed by breaking wood, rotted railings giving way like rotten teeth, and a snap of bone like a gunshot through the empty tenement, followed by a heavy thud as his body finally came to rest on the floor below.

At the head of the stairs, Roan found himself hoping that he wasn’t dead. He was really hoping the lion could finish this fucker off, because it was really hard to find poetic justice in everyday life. You had to take it where you could.